Why does surfing hate me? Surf funk explained.

It happened. Again. That last session was so frustrating you’re this close to swearing off surfing forever. “Why does surfing hate me so?!” you ask.

Congratulations—you’re officially stuck in a surf funk.

Not time to read? There’s a micro-pod for that.

how do you know for sure i am in a surf funk?

Surf funks come in all shapes, sizes, and intensities.

Sometimes, you paddle out expecting a banger of a session before work. I’m gonna nail that 10-wave count today. Woohoo! Then things don’t go to plan, and you’re left with a mediocre sesh at best.

Other times, it’s a slow-burning frustration that makes you question your life choices, your skills, and why you ever thought surfing was a good idea. Who am I kidding? I’m not a surfer!

Physically, it can look something like this:

• You can’t catch a single wave despite being in the water for hours.
• Your pop-up technique has somehow devolved—your knees are taking a beating.
• You nose-dive (a.k.a. slide headfirst off your board) on every. single. wave.
• You forgot how to paddle while everyone else is catching waves on repeat.
• Your board feels too small. Too big. Too slidey. Too sticky. Basically, wrong.
• Your wetsuit (if you’re wearing one) is squeezing the life out of you.
• You feel like everyone in the lineup is silently judging you. Why are these surfers so angry?!
• You start humming that song from Forgetting Sarah Marshall:
  “[Your Name] you suck, [Your Name] you suck, your surfing is effing terrible…”
• You get out of the water and throw a full-blown “floor” tantrum on the beach. No? Ok. Just me then.

It’s easy to believe that if we were better at surfing, we wouldn’t get into funks.

the struggle is real—but you’re never alone (which is kind of a problem too)

We blame it on fatigue, weak paddling, sore shoulders. Or we convince ourselves we’re just overthinking it or letting the pressure to “succeed” get in the way. Putting yourself on a surfing pedestal that we just can’t reach.

Newsflash: Every surfer, from beginners to pros, goes through funks. Surf funks don’t discriminate. In Australia—I am told—experienced surfers call it a “shocker sesh.”

But the real reason surfers get hit with funks?

Because surfing is the most unpredictable, uncontrollable and unforgiving sport on earth.

why does surfing hate me?

When I’m in a funk, I sometimes think—maybe I should’ve stuck with ice skating. Being a surfer is NOT like being a…figure skater. As a figure skater, you control your surroundings. It’s just you and your skills. End of.

Here’s what figure skaters don’t have to worry about when stepping onto the ice:

How big are the waves?
How fast are they closing out?
Is the swell coming at the right angle?
Which way is the wind blowing?
What’s the period between waves?
Is it sunny, gloomy, windy?
Is the water warm or freezing?
Is the break crowded? Friendly? Local?
Is the water clear or murky?
Are there sharks, stingrays, or jellyfish?
Am I going to die today? (No? Ok. Just me then )

The only thing figure skaters care about? Whether the Zamboni did a good job polishing the ice. I’m not apologizing for the AI image below—because, honestly, imagine a surf Zamboni. Just cruising through the lineup, making sure the waves are exactly how you want them, when you want them.

how to get out of a surf funk

Unless you’re a total control freak like me (and honestly, I should probably see a doctor about that), there are simple, real-life things you can do to shake it off. These tips come from both beginner surfers who’ve fought through funks and surfers who’ve been at it for 20 years.

Change it up – Try a different surf spot for a change of scenery.
Switch boards – If possible, try something bigger, smaller, or with more volume.
Mix up your surf crew – If you usually surf alone, find a buddy. If you always surf with a group, go solo.
Take a beginner out – Rediscover the joy of whitewater wipeouts with a friend who’s never surfed before.
Keep a surf journal – Write down the good days so you can revisit them when you’re in a funk.
Consider a surf coach – If you have the funds, a lesson might just be a push you need.

And most importantly—shift your perspective. No one is watching you fail. They’re too busy failing themselves. Remember: Surfing is mostly struggling. Catching waves is the exception, not the rule. You weren’t in the water today just to get waves. You were practicing duck dives. You were staying in shape. You were soaking up nature.

You were just having fun.