Who the hell is Fatty?

I titled this post Who the hell is Fatty?, but really it’s about what’s next for The Wipeout Weekly after the pod, newsletter, and website. The short answer is: a curated surf store with some merch thrown in. But first, a bit of history.

Before I embarked on my journey to build this surf media empire (and the world’s largest community of beginner surfers—Girls Who Can’t Surf Good), I was, for my sins, in branding & marketing. Even in my spare time, I would come up with a new brand name every 5 minutes and buy web domains like Krispy Kreme donuts.

Fatty Lumpkin, a surf ranch—like an actual ranch by a surf break, years before Kelly Slater even thought about his—was one of my most extravagant business ideas, which I expected would never come to pass.  The ranch is named after one of Tom Bombadil’s ponies in The Lord of the Rings. Yet Fatty Lumpkin remains copyrighted until 2087 along with other Tolkien’s works.

When, a few years later, I needed a good name for my solo marketing endeavors along with the right to use it, I just took what I could with me, namely ‘Fatty’. At the time, I listened to a lot of country songs featuring: blue jeans, trucks and pontoons. I’m also a big fan of Zodiacs – inflatable pontoons – which gave us tow-in surfing, and so Fatty Pontoon was born.

What’s with the otter? Oh, that’s Fatty. She’s an sea otter. My affinity with otters dates back to the Eighties, and the long running Canadian TV series – Danger Bay – which features a domesticated otter. Otters are my favorite animals to visit at the zoo. Meerkats come a close second.

If you’ve seen me around, I often sport a “I ❤️Fatty” trucker hat that I got from “Fatty Mart” that celebrates “Little Fatty”, a super fun Taiwanese restaurant in Mar Vista, Los Angeles. Hey, it’s my branding, I get to own it! 

And now I make my own “I Love Fatty” hats, too. People seem to love them. It’s an instant conversation starter. Everyone seems to know a Fatty too! For some it’s their aunt’s nickname, for others—their local BBQ joint. But whoever Fatty is to them, they see the hat and just break down in a big smile.

My hats come in fun colors too.

Our Malibu Mint edition is inspired by those rare Malibu afternoons when everyone else is still at work—and you somehow catch a few at one of the most iconic (and busiest) breaks in the world.

Our Barbie at Pipeline edition is an oxymoron. Barbie knows better. She prefers Canoes and Pops in Waikiki anyway. Fewer Kens.

Our Sunset Shrimp edition is a tribute to North Shore’s legendary shrimp trucks. All hail Giovanni’s garlic shrimp—even if the wait is over an hour.

Our Oceanslime edition doesn’t quite do justice to Oceanside, California—the home of that beach house scene from Top Gun—but it’s the best name we could come up with, so it stays.

Our San Clementine edition celebrates the 2028 surfing Olympics destination—San Clemente, California. No surfing for locals for days.

Our Mavericks Magenta edition is inspired by Jaws “JJ” Junior’s favorite surf break—and the color of her wedding dress. 

Actually the latter edition is not available for the “I Love Fatty” hats. It’s a limited edition of our “Born to drop in” surfer trucker hat.

But, what’s with the shark? 🦈

That’s Jaws “JJ” Junior.
Bloodlines of legends, mind of her own.
No such thing as a “bigger boat” to tame her.
She’s got no time for lineup politics—and eats locals for breakfast.
Kooksplain to her at your own risk.

JJ is in the red paisley bandana crew. Another member of the red paisley bandana crew?

Is that a rooster?! 🐓

Oh, that’s Olo.
Not your average Hawaiian rooster.
Claims he rode Pipeline once—no photos.
Says he taught Duke the headstand trick.
Doesn’t wear a leash, but a total stickler for lineup rules.

And let’s not forget about Wee Fatty! 🦦

Don’t call her a surfboard thief—
No one should surf alone.
Found an old red paisley kerchief once,
Bandana Crew—all her idea.
The best surf buddy you could wish for.
Ridic cute. Floatsalot. Will hold hands.

As unbelievable as it may sound today, no AI was used in the above ad copy or ideas. My mind just rides the wild surf 24/7.

Hold on… I can get an I Love Fatty hat? Yes. Yes, you can. In a week or so when we launch The Wee Surf Shoppe.

And you’re like: WTF is The Wee Surf Shoppe? It’s your curated surf therapy, but unlike anything you know.

Perhaps unlike most surfluencers (or is it surfing influencers?) and brand ambassadors, we have no skin in this game. We only recommend surf products we own and love, or products that are extremely highly reviewed. And we tell you the truth and only the truth. We pick the most economical stuff for Surf Pantry and recommend homemade alternative solutions.

If you’re drawn to a product from Surf Indulgences, you already know it’s an indulgence—and you can go without it. Still…nice to look at.

Among Surf Giftables, you’ll find fun, cheap-and-cheerful, very last-minute gifts for anyone into surfing. It’s the thought that counts!

As for our own Da Merch—we love it, we love it, we love it. You already know it.

When we accept a product to review, we speak the truth. Once we’re done with it—and if it’s in a re-sellable state (i.e., we didn’t use half a bottle of shampoo to clean our wetsuits)—it goes into the weekly raffle pool. We keep nothing. Also because… you know… storage.

We make money from our merchandise and affiliate sales. (That link-clicking thing.)

Our mission is to build The Wipeout Weekly and its commercial offshoots—like The Wee Surf Shoppe and All Things Surf Directory—into a global surf phenomenon that will make enough money for us to start giving back. We cannot wait.

Lest we forget: every merch item comes with a raffle ticket, and every first Friday of the month, we raffle things off and give prizes away.

Not long now…Wait…. it’s ALIVE! I give you The Wee Surf Shoppe in its full glory.