Hey Zuz, I am confused: Who gets the surf spot after a breakup?

If something like this has happened to you too, I’m sorry. But what are we supposed to do when a relationship ends and we’re still tied to the same surf spot?

‍ Hey Zuz, I am confused. Who gets the spot after a breakup?

I broke up with my boyfriend this week. We’re both intermediate surfers, usually surfing our local spot together. I Googled “who gets a surf spot after a breakup” but found nothing. Maybe it’s not as common? Or perhaps people just see it as a non-issue? But in my case, I don’t think I’m ready to see my ex anytime soon or run into him on a regular basis. It just hurts too much. Also, I am absolutely not giving up on surfing, in case you were wondering. I’m mulling my options. Can you offer any insight?

Dear reader!

First of all, sorry to hear that. Like surfing isn’t tough enough without all the additional drama. As for you being the only person in the universe this has happened to—definitely not true. We just don’t talk about it.

Okay, let’s look at this objectively together. There’s no law, but you could argue there’s a surf law of common sense that dictates the rules. Whose spot was it in the first place? If it was your spot before the relationship, it should stay yours after. And vice versa. If your boyfriend introduced you to his surf break, you may want to stay away for a bit. At least for a while. Unless of course it’s a gigantic beach break and you can stay far apart and avoid bumping into each other in the parking lot.

You wouldn’t steal your boyfriend’s puppy even if the puppy lived with both of you for a while, would you?

Now, if you discovered the spot together, that’s when it gets tougher. No one owns the ocean. No one owns the spot. You’ll need to figure out how to share it.

You said you don’t want to see your boyfriend in the surf anytime soon. If he doesn’t care whether he bumps into you or not, you may need to adjust the timing of your sessions. And I know—you might think, “Why should I change the way I do things?” Fair question.

But here’s the thing: you don’t want to surf angry, you don’t want to surf sad—you don’t need that kind of baggage in the lineup. Do whatever it takes to feel at peace when you paddle out. And if it means shifting to another spot for now, you may even find it cathartic.

Author: The Wipeout Weekly team