Why are surfers so angry? Surf aggro unmasked.

You might have noticed by now that I love surfodrama and somehow always focus on topics that make surfing look bad. What’s the worst that can happen to you in the surf? Ten things that will put you off surfing before you even start. How surfing influencers ruined surfing. Or how religion almost killed surfing. (Okay, to be fair, that last one makes Christian missionaries look bad, not surfing.)

If this sounds like some master plan to discourage beginner surfers from stepping into the liquid, it’s actually the very opposite. I just want everyone to walk into that ocean with their eyes open and ready for anything. And if that means instilling a bit of fear and encouraging reflection—so be it.

Trust me. I am your biggest fan. The numero uno reason The Wipeout Weekly exists. Eight years of running Girls Who Can’t Surf Good must count for something.

What Is surf aggro?

Okay, now that we got that out of the way—let’s talk about surf aggro. The nastiest of the nastiest features of surfing.

Someone punches someone in the parking lot. Someone spits in someone’s face in the lineup for dropping in on them. Someone yells: “Get off my wave. I’ll kill you.”

“Surf aggro” refers to aggressive behavior in the surf—from stink eyes and snarky comments to full-on shouting matches and the occasional punch-up. It can come from locals, crusty veterans, or just someone having a really bad day. You almost never hear of this kind of aggression coming from beginners.

Why so angry?

I could never understand it. Don’t people go surfing to exercise, de-stress, and commune with nature? Surely not to spike their heart rate to 190. So where does it come from? Not that it’s any excuse.

Something, somewhere just doesn’t go your way in the lineup. A wave stolen. A non-local getting too cozy. An accidental breach of etiquette. Or maybe you just woke up cranky and needed someone to blame.

Ancient surf beef

And surf aggro has history! Ancient history. Back in Hawai‘i, a certain Umi-a-Līloa (son of a Big Island chief) bragged about his surfing skills and got called out by a Hilo royal named Paiea. They competed. Paiea won—but played dirty, causing Umi to lose some skin on a rock.

When Umi came to power years later—depending on which version you believe—he took his revenge and either slow-baked Paiea in an oven or gutted him on a stone altar. Surf beef: 1400s edition.

Who bears the brunt?

These days, it’s no secret who bears the brunt of surf aggro. Beginners are easy targets. They’re just trying their best but often get yelled at for breaking rules they don’t know exist.

Women, especially those who look like beginners, get policed more than others—and often receive unsolicited advice or worse. Intermediates? The most dangerous category, apparently. Skilled enough to catch waves, not always skilled enough to control them.

✨ A tiny silver lining

‍ I’ve depressed myself writing this. So here’s a tiny silver lining: after digging through forums and social media, I can confirm most people who dish out surf aggro feel bad afterward.

“I shouldn’t have done it.” “I overreacted.” “It wasn’t even his fault.” Some even apologize.

If it happens to you (and let’s hope it never does), paddle away. If you were in the wrong, you can always apologize later on the beach. But sometimes? There’s just no talking to an angry surfer.