Is it better to be a guy or a girl in surfing?

This question has been on my mind for as long as I’ve been into surfing. Is it better to be a guy or a girl in surfing? It’s time I finally attempted to answer it.

what brought this on

What brought this on, you may ask, after close to two decades of this eternal question being on my mind?
Answer: attempted murder.

Oh, yeah—here comes the uncomfortable.

Some of you may remember a story from a few months ago where a male paddleboarder attacked a female surfer in the lineup. The case is currently in court, going through preliminary hearings, and we’re learning all the ins and outs in real time.

The defendant, Eric Gustafson, 60, of Morro Bay, has been charged with two felony counts of assault with a deadly weapon—one with force likely to produce great bodily injury—according to the San Luis Obispo Tribune. Gustafson was originally booked on suspicion of attempted murder back in August, but those charges were never filed. He pleaded not guilty.

what allegedly happened

Are we freaked out yet? Not enough.

Here’s what allegedly happened. I’m learning from serious media to use this word so I don’t get sued. Better still, let me just lift this from the SLO Tribune reporting straight from the court, so I don’t get into any trouble:

“Haylee Red-Van Rooyen (the alleged victim) said Gustafson paddled into the area where she and her friends were surfing, dropped in on a wave behind her and rammed into her, knocking her off her board. After they both crashed, she said, he got back onto his paddleboard and chased after her, hit her with his paddle, jumped on her board and forced her head underwater for multiple seconds. He did so while allegedly shouting and cursing at her. ‘I thought I was going to die,’ Red-Van Rooyen said on the witness stand Wednesday. ‘He grabbed my hair and held me underwater, and I didn’t know if I was going to make it.’”

Let’s take a moment and let it all sink in. I have a very vivid imagination, so for me it’s like watching a scene from a movie. I don’t like it at all.

I would implore you to read the full account and let the courts deal with this case. But may I just add that the words of the defendant’s lawyer, Ilan Funke-Bilu, who argued that, I quote, “I just think that this is the classic story of surfer versus paddleboarder,” rub me the wrong way.

is it better to be a guy or a girl in surfing?

How does this connect to the original question: is it better to be a guy or a girl in surfing?

Simply, if it was a surfer dude who got attacked by a paddleboarder, no one would’ve been called a fucking bitch or a fucking cunt (allegedly). It’s possible that the case wouldn’t have ended up in court at all and instead ended as a fistfight. And if the paddleboarder was female, well, there would be nothing to talk about.

Yes, people in the lineup get angry. Yes, sometimes this results in fights in the water and on land.

Physically, women are weaker. It’s easier to drown us. Most women don’t give off that intimidation vibe that keeps male surfers safe—just like in society.

If you’re a girl, don’t be sad. I did say this is just part one.

I’m not answering the question of whether it’s better to be a dude or a dudette in surfing just yet, because there’s so much more to consider. For now, this is just a cautionary story—for very angry men and women surfers.