Hey Zuz, I’m confused: Should I have kept my mouth shut?

Here’s a doozie. You make a remark in the surf and beat yourself about it for the rest of your life. I’ve been there. You’ve been there. Let’s go there.

😵‍💫 hey zuz, I am confused

I told off a dude who nearly took my head off as I was getting through the white water heading back into the lineup. I had nowhere to go and he headed straight for my person, no turning in sight. I told him he nearly ran me over, he told me to take it on the head. And then I heard him say to his mates “what a kook”. It’s been two weeks and I am still agonizing whether I should’ve just kept my trap shut.

🥰 dear reader

I’m a huge proponent of speaking up, standing up for yourself and holding you ground. On land. My attitude towards doing this in the surf is somewhat different because a) you’re in the ocean with limited wave resources that makes people go crazy b) there’s the water, so it’s easier for someone to dunk your head and try to drown you if they feel so inclined. Yes, it does happen.

I only speak up if these three things align. One, I am 100% sure that I am correct in terms of generally accepted surf etiquette. Two, the offence is safety-related. You damage my board, but leave me unharmed, you won’t hear from me. Three, I can deliver my feedback in a sarcastically enough way, so it can be, if it must, laughed off. You know: “Oh, I’m sorry, has your leash snapped?” What can I say, I’m a coward.

But seriously, I rarely open my mouth in the surf not because I’m scared, but for the very reason you mentioned it. If I say something, I will torture myself for days and weeks to come. Ruminating thoughts all day long. And I probably won’t be able to sleep. I will be upset that maybe perhaps I even have upset the offender. I’m not the only one. I’ve heard it from many surfers, mainly women who question themselves whether they should’ve said something.

Is keeping schtum in the surf no matter what the right approach? Of course not. If you see something, say something. If you are aware of the mental repercussions, and you were in the right and looking out for your and others safety, you should absolutely speak up. I can tell you it also works the other way. I have come across surfers who told off beginners and deeply regretted it afterwards. They forgot for a moment that they were kooks once. 

In your case, I’d say, if you can, let it go. It’s over, like The Sopranos. Until the next time.

Author: The Wipeout Weekly team