Hey Zuz, I’m confused: My surf coach shouted at me

Coaches. The only coach I like is Dave Coaches from Gavin and Stacey, but I think only people in the UK will get that. Let’s talk surf coaches. The ones we don’t like.

This is a delicate topic. We don’t tend to talk about it for fear of repercussions. The power imbalance. The community response. But it’s an important subject nevertheless, so we’re going to tackle it. We’re not going to make surf culture any better by staying silent.

As always, Hey Zuz, I’m confused is based on aggregated stories, questions, and opinions.

😵‍💫 hey zuz, i am confused

My surf coach shouted at me. It happened a few times during our lessons. Is this normal? Now, I feel like I’m doing everything wrong, get awfully stressed surfing, and I’ve totally lost confidence.

🥰 dear reader

No, it’s not normal. It’s common in surfing, unfortunately. But it is not acceptable.

I have never been shouted at. But then again, I’ve only had two surf coaches. One told me “not to paddle” when catching a wave, and another said I should lie on the board like a mermaid. No prizes for guessing whose advice I took.

There are moments when “shouting” can be functional in the water—around safety and urgency. But I don’t think we’re talking about safety yelling here, are we? More like “angry yelling,” right?

That is not okay. Anyone can get frustrated or have a bad day. Anyone but a teacher. How often do you hear about teachers losing it with their pupils? I have seen it happen, but it’s not a regular occurrence.

School is one thing, but in surfing your coach has what we’d call positional power, even though it’s you who is paying them. They’re the expert, you are not. They know how to go about being in the ocean, while you’re as vulnerable as a seal with a shark circling around. And that’s how yelling turns instruction into control.

And being screamed at in the water isn’t like being corrected on land. It feels 100 times more dangerous and humiliating. That will make anyone freeze. Freezing may lead to more yelling, and we end up in a vicious circle of not learning anything—and possibly even worse—hating surfing.

During the summer, I spent a lot of time alongside groups of young kids and teenagers learning to surf. One coach stood out. Because he was loud. I used to call him Mr. Tough Love. But at no point was he angry yelling. He just had a no-nonsense approach to instruction and a loud voice.

How do you recognize the difference between safety shouting and angry yelling? Any personal attack or remark will most likely be the latter. Absolutely not okay.

Depending on where you are in your surfing journey, this may feel even more pointed. If you’re an adult learner carrying a bit of that extra self-consciousness—or if you’re a woman—we have a lifetime of being corrected and yelled at by men in “expert” roles.

Best thing to do—accept the loss and ditch your coach. When choosing a new one, do your research, ask friends for recommendations, and if that’s not available—have a frank conversation about your expectations and what works for you.

Author: The Wipeout Weekly team